...And I'm a Mormon

I know we've all seen the commercials, billboards, and other such things with the ...and I'm a Mormon tag line {because let's face it most of you reading this are actually Mormons ;) } but I've never really taken the time to tell the world I am a Mormon. Not because I'm ashamed or scared of repercussions of my religious belief, I faced plenty of questions, comments, and my fare share of jokes in high school. I don't always share because my belief is something I hold quite personal and sacred. I don't feel the need to always explain why I believe what I believe and know to be true and I don't always feel like explaining for the millionth time I do not have multiple mothers {Except those who I love and adore and took the time to make sure I was staying in line growing up} and I do not live on some commune. After this weekend thought I thought it was maybe about time I opened up and shared a little bit about why I believe what I believe and how that belief has shaped me as a person.

We were living in Cape Cod, Massachusetts when the missionaries first knocked on our door. My mom had joined the Church back in the mid 70's when my aunt and uncle were dating and subsequently married. After they married mom remained for a little longer in activity, but the lack of rides and the distance to the church building {an a certain man named Steve Vaught} mom eventually went inactive. Throughout the 80's we were not members of the Church. Mom went occasionally, I remember reading in my baby book she brought me to church a few times when we were living in either South Carolina or in San Diego, but other than that we were not really involved in church. We did the usual Vacation Bible School on base and with some of the surrounding churches near the base while we lived in New Orleans, but it wasn't a steady thing. I still have one of the little crafts we did in VBS. It's hung above my bed pretty much since I made it and even today I still have it hanging up as a reminder for myself.

My beautiful Aunt Nikki

1991 was a rough year. We lost my aunt that Thanksgiving and it changed our lives in countless ways. We struggled with her passing and it brought to the surface many questions for us all. We missed her funeral. Mom had something wrong with a pinched nerve and lost the feeling in her arm. We were on our way down and had to stop in Mystic, Connecticut for the ER because she's couldn't feel anything and dad was worried something else was going on. Long story short we ended up never making it down because of the problem and had to return to the Cape for mom to see her regular doctor and get to the bottom of the matter.

1992 rolled around {yes I know that was 21 years ago!} and we were all still trying to figure things out as best well all could. I don't remember the exact month the missionaries showed up, but it was sometime in the spring because by the summer we were taking the discussions and by September 27th we were baptized. I remember the missionaries coming in to teach us the discussions, first to our dad and then to us. Dad wanted to know what the whole deal was before he involved us in with the discussions. We used to go into the basement and play while they were teaching. Little did dad know most of the time we sat on the steps and listened while he was being taught. Eventually though he was on board with us taking the discussions and from there well the rest is almost 21 years of history.

The conversion process though happened over a period of time. I'm reminded of a few really awesome talks about the conversion process. First is from Elder David A. Bednar {my second favorite only behind President Henry B. Eyring} and is Converted unto the Lord from the 2012 October General Conference. I absolutely love listening to him speak because he always seems to know exactly what I need to hear. I love this talk though for several reason, first of which is because he is talking about the Apostle Paul. Paul is by far one of my favorite people. I was blessed to teach Sunday School during the New Testament and the more I read about him the more I just absolutely loved reading his words. To see the man and apostle he became through his words is simply amazing. I love his story because through it we see what Elder Bednar describes as the deepening of a testimony. It becomes something more than a testimony when it becomes rooted to our being and in our hearts. Paul was truly converted to the gospel. I want that same conversion and I strive in my life to continue to aling my will to that of my Heavenly Father.

The second talk is from Elder M. Russell Ballard and is called Now Is The Time from the October 2000 General Conference. This talk is amazing and really speaks to how the conversion process and is for both new and "old" memebers. Being truly converted like Paul doesn't happen over night and is not only for new members. Even as a long time member now I can truly say it is not something which happens over night. My testimony grows and expands as time passes and I learn more through lessons, talks, General Conference, the temple, scripture study, and priesthood blessings. Conversion also means opening your mouth and sharing what you know to be true.

So here it is, here is why I am after all these years still a Mormon {even though I actually prefer the term Latter Day Saint} and why I will remain so until the end of my days: it's true. The gospel, every little bit of it is true. I don't say this because I've relied on someone else to tell me it's true; I know it's true with every ounce of my being because I've built my own testimony. I've asked the questions Moroni challenged in Moroni 10: 3-5 and I know without a shadow of a doubt the gospel is true. I know our Savior, Jesus Christ, gave his life for us in the Garden of Gethsemane and suffered for us on the cross in Calvary. I know He came to this earth to bring us home to our Heavenly Father. I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and you and only wants the best in life for all his children. I know I'm an imperfect person and I make mistakes but my Heavenly Father put in place a plan for me to overcome my shortcomings as a human being so I can return to his presence. I know Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God who restored the gospel. I know and sustain Thomas S. Monson as a prophet, seer, and revelator for our day and time.  I don't just believe, I know.

It sounds simplistic and some may question it, but my knowledge comes from 21 years of devotion. 21 years of opening my scriptures and finding answers. 21 year of listening to General Conference and feeling that burning feeling of hearing truth spoken. 21 years of saying countless prayers, offering up countless thanks and pleas to my Heavenly Father and finding answers in the quite and still moments. It comes from standing in holy places each and every week, partaking of the sacrament each Sunday, serving others when the opportunities are presented, pouring over the good, the bad, and the ugly. It comes from having stood in the Sacred Grove and feeling the lasting presence of the First Vision, of standing in Nauvoo and feeling the spirit still lingering there, and of being seal together as a family for time and all eternity. My testimony is simple, but bears the marks of 21 years of trials, tribulations, joy, happiness, and laughter. As Elder Bednar says: "Thus, the powerful combination of testimony and conversion unto the Lord produced firmness and steadfastness and provided spiritual protection."

For more information about the Church visit: lds.org, mormon.org  or feel free to ask :)