Somewhere over the rainbow

Life has been a bit of a roller coaster the last few months since graduating. Before graduation, I had visions of evenings spent doing things around the house, settling in a little more and planning some updates and changes. It was a beautiful dream I had back then. Full of a hazy dream of running through a field  singing a la Sound of Music style.

Julie Andrews, she's the best! Even though I don't like this movie.

I was going to accomplish so much during the evening hours. I wasn't going to stay at work late, I would eat dinner at a regular time, my house would just be amazing, and I would go to bed at a reasonable time. I know now I was delusional. I was the queen of the state of Delusion. I pretty much failed my second week after graduation and from there it has just gone downhill. More late nights and early mornings fill the space where class work used to be. Now reports for work and random projects seem to take up more of my time than anything.

Life is like that though. We have this image in our mind of what it will be for us and then as the days slip by we start realizing the pot of gold at the end of our rainbow was coal wrapped in gold leaf. Events occur and we change our focus and direction to meet different as the arise. Changing direction though is not the easiest of things to do  though. We get tunnel vision which limits our ability to see outside of our comfort zone sphere. The road ahead looks like a never ending snake of black top we can't see beyond.

There is something promising about a road in autumn, at least in my opinion. 

We also get complacent in our lives, making the leaps of faith into different areas difficult to handle. Or we forget other avenues of support surrounding us to help make those changes easier to bear. Growing up as a military brat change was a part of everyday life. People came and went as orders changed. You got used to the changes and learned how to adapt pretty quickly to them; largely in part because you had no choice the change was going to happen whether you wanted it to or not. Change these days is not as easy as it was back then. I've crafted and shaped a life out here and though I'm not fully satisfied with everything, I'm happy with where I'm at and with what I've accomplished. And even though I'm a terrible work-a-holic and my house is still mostly in boxes in the garage, I know I'll look back in a few years and forget the long days and nights in favor of the good memories. So I guess in the end I'll find my pot of gold at the end of my rainbow. And who knows, maybe it will be fill with chocolate ;) Or even better - pens!