The Dehumanization of the workforce

I went to the unemployment benefits training today and I must say I've never felt less a human than today. I was later than planned due to Luna not feeling well these last few days and keeping me up; but I made it right before their 9:30 class since they only do them once an hour. I kinda started out looking like this:

Walking into the building was automatically depressing, no one says hello to you or even really acknowledges your presence. I stood at the counter a minute or two before the two employees behind the counter even acknowledges my presence. Sorry to interrupt your conversation with doing your job. The woman speaks so low and her words run together and I of course had to ask her to repeat herself, which seems to piss her off even more than the fact I had to gall to come in and interrupt her conversations. I get handed two pieces of paper, more mumbled directions, a clipboard and told to wait with the rest of the group for room A.

To the government issues uncomfortable chairs for the next few minutes while I wait for the room. It's a depressing office, government issued chairs with the institutional feel of blank walls and a bank of computers. We get called into the office and the woman who is "teaching" the class is really not much better. She speaks with the same rapid mumble and we get our paperwork completed. The entire process takes about 35 minutes from walking into the door and back out again. They make you watch this random video before you can leave; the volume is up so high I'm sure people the next town over can hear it. She left us with a booklet and a packet of papers with all our instructions regarding our responsibilities. In the end it feels like a process, you've been reduced back to your social security number and a vague name on a piece of paper they see for 20 minutes in the beginning and then shuffle you off to figure out the remaining confusion on your own. By the end I looked like this:

Unemployment: Day 1

So truth I don't really think this is day one but I'm going to call it day one because my normal week begins on Sunday. I filed my unemployment claim today. Quite honestly I'm prepared for a fight because the people always fought against them, but we shall see what will happen. It's a little surreal applying. It's not something you generally think about when you're working as hard as you can, but in the end even hard work can get you to this point. I can say for certain I did not think waking up on Friday morning I would be out of a job by the end of the day. Then again I really don't believe anyone ever plans for this to happen; but I can say it will shape and change how I look at my spending choices and habits.

I'm dealing with it all though. I am not a wallower or a pity party kind of person. I am not interested in sitting around and having a pity party because this happened. It's not the kind of girl my parents raised. I know there will be a struggle and I know I won't always have a positive attitude about everything, but I have to try and keep pushing forward. Standing still is not in my nature. I am not sure why this happened or where this road will go, but I will somehow figure my way down this path. I've said it a number of times, but I'm tremendously blessed to have such a wonderful family and great friends who are here to help and willing to give me advice. I'm thankful for the power of the priesthood and my father's willingness to bless each of us with that priesthood power. I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am for my parents. The minute after it happened I called my mother and without question she dropped everything she was doing to come over and give me a hug. Seriously she is amazing. And I won't even start with my dad. He's a rock in our family and I just can't imagine our family without his steady support. This isn't a journey I ever imagined myself taking but I'm thankful to know I have such a great support system to help carry me through the tough times. :)

You know what they say about slamming doors

.________________________.  Whale I have some bad news, today I got let go. Terminated. It sounds so final right? But it is final the deed is done and everything is processing. I am no longer employed. It takes a little getting used to, especially considering I need to ya know pay the bills, Comcast and all of them tend to enjoy being paid for their services. I'm still processing and figuring it all out and honestly I don't know who or what to believe in anymore with that place. Nothing ever added up and now I'm just one of those people who used to work there so I'm not going to dwell over it. I won't lie, of course I cried and there was a point I think I hyperventilated and I'm pretty sure I hung up on people. Quite honestly though at this point who cares because what are you going to do fire me----- oh wait you did that already.

I know bad joke, but really what can you honestly do when things just sorta fall apart. I'm not sure what the future is going to bring, but none of us really are quite honestly. It's all a guessing game and a series of choices we make leading us to a new place. The question remains of what we are going to do with those choices and how we make it through. I'm going to have faith in my Heavenly Father and His plan, honestly it's really all I have at this point, faith and hope I will get to where I both need and want to go.