Milestones in life

If there is one thing I have learned in my life: it takes twists and turns we do not always expect. Growing up I used to watch Northern Exposure on this old t.v. I inherited when my parents bought a new one. The t.v was one of those you had to physically change the channel on with the push buttons. I loved that tv and I was so excited to have that tv all to myself in my room. There was one episode where Janine Turner's character Maggie finds this letter she wrote to herself when she was a teenager about what her life was going to be like when she was older. Being a fan I decided to follow suit and write one to myself as well. Maggie found her life hadn't turned out exactly like she had imagined. There were some twists and turns she had never foreseen coming through in her life and it wasn't the picture she had imagined. I can say my life hasn't turned out the way I had imagined - it's better than the vaguely drawn picture I had in my mind. 

I think as children we get this vague idea of how our life will go when we are older. We see adults in our life and wonder if our lives will be the same as their. The problem is we only see the highlights in their lives. We see the good, happy moments that make us long for being an adult as well. As children and teenagers we are not privy to the darker, harder moments where being an adult was making the harder choices and learning how to handle being an adult. We piece together those happy moments and create this distorted image in our mind about how our own lives will be once we've reached some magic age where life just turns into a fairy tale of happily ever after. 

I'm here to day my life has been far from the fairy tale I imagined in this letter to myself. There have been some twists and turns which took me down other paths than I imagined. I never imagined I would get my masters degree, never really imagined college being in my future. But here I sit having completed two bachelors degrees and one masters degree. I look back over the years and think of the paths I've walked down because of these degrees and know these were the paths I needed to take to reach the point I am in my life now. Sure there are things I wish would were different, mainly my height because well 5 foot is not conducive to reaching my high cabinets!, but in all I honestly wouldn't change a thing. If I changed one thing then the great blessings I've enjoyed would be different and I'm not willing to give those up. My masters degree wasn't easy to finish and I know it wasn't easy on my family and friends. But it was worth it in the end because of what I gained during the 2 1/2 years it took to finish the degree. I'm thankful to my friends and family who put up with my complete manic mood swings and level of activity. I've spent the last decade and a half in school. Seriously I started in the fall of 1999 and went through until 2005 and back in 2006. I'm a glutton for punishment. And while I know I'm going to get my doctoral degree, I'm looking forward to the break for the next few years. 

Get up becasuse this rat race never ends

I'm sitting here watching the preview of the new season of SMASH and the line rings on as Karen {as played by the lovely Katharine McPhee}and as she is singing the opening song she sings "Get up because this rat race never ends," and yes she was right. This life is a marathon, not a sprint, and I for one enjoy that fact. Sometimes I feel like I'm sprinting, running from hither and yon for one reason or another; most of them related to work and the many miles I clock each week. I've felt it more than ever the last few weeks as I clock in more than 40 hours each week at work. I don't recommend the long hours when you're also trying to finish a degree. I'm horribly behind in getting my paper to rough draft form - translation- I haven't even gotten started with the lit review! More long hours are sure to come.

I'm starting to get into "get the job done" mode so I'm putting off the social life and finding some motivation for finishing this degree. I feel like Elle Woods in Legally Blond. You know the moment, the moment when she shifts from being just involved in law school to tackling law school and proving everyone wrong. She's standing in the bookstore, arms wrapped around the old Macbook {that everyone wanted because they were freaking adorable}, dressed in that Playboy bunny outfit, and wearing that determined look on her face. Well subtract the Macbook {I'm an Asus girl} and the playboy bunny outfit, and that's how I feel. I have that determined mindset and look because I'm finishing this degree I started. I can see the finish line in sight. I can taste the sweet freedom of no class and no papers and no assessments. Now to get up because this rat race isn't over yet.